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I help parents who feel overwhelmed by the demands and expectations of modern day parenting find clarity, calm, and direction so that they can parent with joy as they confidently guide their kids through life.
If you’re wondering how to pronounce my name I already know two things about you. 1) You don’t speak Dutch (honestly, neither do I!) and 2) You’re not alone (none of us are, really). In any case, my Americanized pronunciation of my Dutch name sounds like this: Meeka.
Now that we’ve properly met – Welcome, I’m glad you’re here.
You have big dreams for them, and most of all, you want to raise a good human. you so so so want to raise a good human being.
But…somehow you find yourself lost amidst confusing and conflicting advice, anxiety around a rapidly changing world, and so much (self-induced?) pressure to not mess things up – not to mention the piles and piles of laundry.
It seems like parenting today requires more research, more time, more money, more energy, more everything. And so, you’re feeling exhausted and constantly behind as you try to:
You never know if you’re doing it “right” – and it sure never feels like you’re doing enough.
You’ve tried gentle parenting, attachment parenting, free range parenting, clown parenting (okay that last one isn’t actually a thing – yet)…but none of them feel right and they certainly don’t work the way you dreamed they would.
You’ve read the doomsday news about the dangers of screens and social media…but tech can be fun! And helpful. And it’s also just plain everywhere – including in your hand right now. So what are you supposed to do? Move to a deserted island with no WiFi?
You’ve tried relying on your natural parenting instinct to guide you. And it works – sometimes. But often it doesn’t work at all – and pretty soon you’re not even sure what your instinct is telling you anymore. Plus that instinct just isn’t getting them to look up from their phone when you’re talking to them, not to mention putting the dishes away.
Despite having a PhD in child development and years of experience working with kids, when I became a parent myself suddenly I was less than confident about what I was doing – and just when everything felt more important than ever.
I believed all the scientifically supported “best” approaches. The problem was, my kids didn’t always get the memo. They were just too busy being them – their own unique people with their own special blend of what makes them who they are. It took me a while to realize that those theories don’t always translate easily into practice.
Oh, and to make matters more confusing, I’m also raising my kids in a country other than the one where I was raised – and in a language that isn’t my own.
There have been lots of times (probably more than I care to admit) when I’ve just wanted to scream! But I’ve learned a thing or two about the need to find a comfortable balance between being flexible and practical while also holding on to a strong foundational anchor.
With that strong base, you’ll be able to tackle all the crazy and unique challenges of our times (screen media, perhaps?) and craft reasonable, practical, realistic solutions that fit you, your kids, your family.
And because parenting is not an exact science, accountability, support and empathy, and gentle nudges when you veer off track all do wonders!
So you can focus on a clear, simple formula for knowing what you’re doing, even during the most challenging parenting moments. And importantly, give yourself permission to practice self compassion as you learn to let go of the need to always “get it right.”
There are so many “experts” out there. Why work with me?
Start with the academic credentials: I have a PhD in developmental psychology, which means that I know A LOT about what is reasonable to expect from kids at different ages, and what they need to thrive. I’m also really good at researching and continuously learning all the things (Yup, I obsessively read the academic articles AND ALSO the mainstream parenting books so you don’t have to. You’re welcome)
Add the street cred: I’ve spent 20+ years working with kids and families, learning about what makes them tick, what works, what doesn’t, and what the struggles are. And I’ve reached millions of parents through articles, tech product reviews, workshops, and one-on-one coaching. (I’m also a certified Positive Discipline Educator and a Certified Life Coach).
How about the personal experience? Got that too: With one kid in high school and one in elementary school, I’m deep in the trenches myself. I’ve had all those doubts, questions, anxieties myself.
But wait, there’s more!
The special sauce: As I raise my kids in a country and language far from my own roots, I’ve seen over and over again that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. I cherish the ability to hold space for you – with curiosity, empathy, and openness.
So what does it feel like to approach parenting with clarity and balance?
Say goodbye to the guilt, anxiety, stress. Say hello to confidence, joy, and even fun.
Spend less time in conflict with your kids as you nag, cajole, negotiate, argue, and fret. Create more time and space for simply enjoying them.
In short, go from overwhelmed to “I got this!”
I love trying new food – and have happily eaten my way through 23 countries.
I may look like an adult, but put a cat in front of me and I’ll invariably respond with a level of delight that most people would usually expect from small children.
I’m generally pretty composed and self-conscious, but my not-so-secret way to let loose? Put on some dance music (turn down the lights) and let the good times roll!
(Excuse me while I take a moment to daydream about dancing the night away at a cat cafe that serves delectable local food.)
Not interested in the personal stuff? Here’s the part that looks good on a resume.
As an international parenting and child development expert with a Ph.D. in developmental psychology and over 20 years experience working with kids, families, and organizations, I am working to build a global village where anyone who supports kids can find guidance. I coach, consult, and advise those raising or educating kids as well as those creating the best possible tools and settings for their safe, healthy, and optimal development.
My early research focused particularly on the role of media and technology in kids’ lives for which I co-write multi-million dollar grant proposals for the U.S. Department of Education and the Institute of Education Sciences, and published articles in top academic journals. Through over a decade of collaboration with Common Sense Media, I helped develop an innovative digital citizenship curriculum and reviewed over 600 apps, websites, movies, podcasts, and streaming video content. I’ve taught students of all ages, from preschool through university, in both formal and informal learning environments.
And I continue to provide expert guidance and training to hundreds of parents, teachers, kids, companies, schools, and organizations across the world through writing, personalized parent coaching sessions, workshops, presentations, and consultation services. I also have specialized expertise and experience in global, cross cultural parenting.
Check out a small sampling of some of my work!
Common Sense Media reviews
Mr Rogers’ Neighborhood and Sesame Street: Pioneers in SEL
How to Help Kids Develop Empathy
Get in touch to join the movement.
